In his capacity as fashion's representative on earth (and occasional clergyman) our resident sartorial commentator, The Fashion Priest, has helpfully separated the celebrity pantheon into the angelically attired and the sinfully style-less. Read on to find out who made the list!
SINNER: Paloma Faith
Oh good Jesus. Is this your audition outfit to become a new lizard Marvel villain? Or a 1960’s Star Trek alien perhaps. Either way, appalling. Where are your friends Paloma!? May Lord have mercy.
Pink is KILLING it with this look. A nice touch of retro with the rockabilly hair do and a slashed LBD showing off her slammin’ abs. Topping it off with studded heels brings this look close to Godliness. We’ve come a long way from belly tops and cargo pants.
SINNER: Nicholas Cage
Chateauneuf du Pape! Having left the snakeskin at home for the evening, Cage is doing a FABULOUS Delboy Trotter impersonation. The sheepskin coat, flat cap, plastic bag, shiny shirt and one two many Pina Coladas have created a striking ensemble fit for a night down the Nag’s Head.
You know what… I don’t hate it! The twins are safely encased in a black lace top, just enough skank with the leopard skin belt, and simple black sling backs… by Jove I think she’s done it! It’s a miracle! I’m also partial to a cross chocker, natch.
SINNER: Daniel Day Lewis
Oh Holy God. Let us set the scene: Someone’s Granny clearly spend six months knitting this cardigan and then guilt tripped her Grandson into wearing the monstrosity to a movie premiere. Daniel is NOT happy about this, and neither are we.
SAINT: Khloe Kardashian
Khloe suffers a little from the ‘third Gallagher brother’ syndrome, but she has done very well here. Keeping is simple with a Tina Turner tassel dress, heavy rings and poker straight hair, Khloe is giving the sisters a run for their money. Khloe, you have my blessing.
SINNER: Hilary Clinton
Nerd alert! Before the power suits and scandals, boss woman Clinton had the ridiculous notion that it’s what’s on the inside that counts! Pahahah! The Gandhi sandals and mind-bending pattern pants are not complete without a pair of Dennis Taylor glasses. Amen.
SAINT: Bats for Lashes – Natasha Khan
Well would you look at this lil cutie patootie! Nicely handling all this season’s candy colors, Natasha is looking tres chic in a super snug pencil skirt, mini belt and silk shirt. Her lil bob goes perf with the candyfloss fur trim. Like the body of Christ, she looks good enough to eat!
SINNER: Jean Paul Gaultier
Ah yes. Just another Sunday afternoon at the Jean Paul household. Fancy dress is compulsory, but only the host can strip to his pants... before 3pm. Personally, donning a sailor suit for an open bar is a fair exchange in my book.
OMHG! Who is this Aquamarina beauty!? Gone are the stinky trainers and baggy pants. In their place is a STUNNING opal mermaid gown and globe handbag, in case she gets lots. Being a big fan of the little touches, the gold toes make this a saintly ensemble. Bad girls do it well!